We’ve all been there! When do you text that person you’re dating? How long are you supposed to wait after you receive a text to reply? Are you texting too much? Should I initiate a text conversation? I could keep going and going… Odds are, something along the lines of my last four example questions have crossed through your mind. They certainly have mine, which is why I want to share with you this interesting read I came across!
Check out these Texting Do’s and Don’ts:
Texting Do’s:
The insider text: A great way to build a connection with someone is to make that person feel special, explains dating coach Adam Lodolce, the author of “Love Texting.” “The easiest way to break rapport with another is to make them feel like the relationship is typical,” he says. For example, share a memory or a secret pet name that only you and your lover will understand. This “insider text” should elicit a strong emotional response from the both of you.
The appreciation text: Showing gratitude for something your partner did will not only make them feel appreciated, but it’ll instantly get them thinking about you. Send a “thank you” text for cooking you dinner last night, or even a a random “thank you” text for being the greatest boyfriend or girlfriend.
The compliment text: Who doesn’t like a compliment? Just be genuine about it. “Compliments are little gifts of love you can send any time of the day. They’re tiny bits of positive energy that’ll inject happiness into other people’s lives instantly,” says Lodolce. For instance, you can text your lover to tell him/her how beautiful he/she looked the last time you were together, or to tell them how much you miss his/her perfect smile.
The anticipation text: Mystery and anticipation is a huge part of attraction. The great thing about texting is the buildup you create before the next real-life encounter. Tell him/her how much you’re looking forward to your next encounter, or hint at a surprise you’re planning. Your partner will go wild wondering what it could be.
The sext text: When appropriate in the relationship, sexting can help build the bond between two people. “Men get turned on by new stimulation,” says licensed sex and addiction specialist Robert Weiss. “If they’re not used to getting a sext from their partner, it can be seen as something new and different. For women, a sext can help validate the relationship, making her feel safe, especially when apart.”
Texting Don’ts:
The formal text: Dating and relationships aren’t always easy breezy, but texting should be. That said, your texts should be light, conversational and engaging. “Instead of texting [something like] ‘I truly wish to participate in that event with you,’ try ‘I’ve love to go to the event,’” says Lodolce. “Text like you talk. This sparks a much better conversation.”
The TMI text: If your text reads more like a novel than a haiku, you’ll need to learn to control those thumbs. Oversharing won’t leave anybody wanting more, because there is nothing left to want. Plus, lengthy texts can get boring and annoying really fast. Save the long conversations for the phone, or your next date.
The wet blanket text: Texts that are negative in any way, shape or form will make you look like a negative person. Who wants to hang out with someone like that? Avoid phrases or texts such as “I hate this,” “I hate that,” “My job stinks,” etc. “Texting is not a place to share your inner deeper fears or concerns about life,” says Lodolce. “Save that for the real world.” (Or maybe your therapist.)
The interrogative text: There is no conspiracy taking place if they’re not texting you back right away, so avoid the nagging “Where are you?” texts. “They read your text, they saw it, let it go,” says LoDolce. “They’re either busy or they’re not really into you.” So instead of going all search-and-rescue on them, be patient and wait it out. They might just come back to you.
The (bad) sext text: Some sexts are good but some are uncalled for. It depends on your relationship, your mood(s), or your language. “Make sure the sext is welcomed,” says Weiss. “Sexting shouldn’t just come out of the blue. Doing so out of context can create problems and can also be perceived as pushy, suggestive and even lewd.” So don’t send a sext without talking (or hinting) about it with your partner first.
