You read it correctly. I CAN’T DANCE. I can’t twerk, I can barely keep a beat, and I just don’t freaking look cool like everyone else does…and it’s really starting to become an issue! Plus let’s not mention the embedded expectation that every Black girl roaming the planet should know how to pop, lock, and drop it to every single song on Billboard. It’s not that I want to be Beyonce or Tinashe and give award-winning performances. I need this for a social skill. It’s giving me anxiety!
Normally if I’m in a dance-mandatory situation, like hosting at a club or a birthday party, I have this pseudo-dance I do to make everyone feel like I’m burning the floor up when I’m really not. I smile, laugh, flip my hair, and hype someone else up, like this (click it for the full experience):
But here’s the thing: I’m going to be a bridesmaid in my college friend’s wedding. When you’re a part of a wedding party, YOU HAVE TO DANCE…I’ll probably just make a bee-line to the bathroom with a water bottle and pretend to throw up.
